..well, now I’m completely flaccid.
Greek general Themistocles leads the charge against invading Persian forces led by mortal-turned-god Xerxes and Artemisia, vengeful commander of the Persian navy.
Sullivan Stapleton – Themistocles
Eva Green – Artemisia
Rodrigo Santoro – King Xerxes
Lena Headey – Queen Gorgo
Hans Matheson – Aesyklos
Callan Mulvey – Scyllias
David Wenham – Dilios
Jack O’Connell – Calisto
Andrew Tiernan – Ephialtes
Yigal Naor – Darius
Andrew Pleavin – Daxos
Ben Turner – General Artaphernes
Ashraf Barhom – General Bandari
Christopher Sciueref – General Kashani
I couldn’t help noticing 300: Rise of an Empire wasn’t as visually stunning as 300. But nonetheless, the graphics were spot-on. Like some sort of sinister computer game, massive boats wiggle and rock on choppy seas and men crouch shooting arrows across the water. The armoury glistens in the silky moonlight – it really is like something from a dream sequence or computer game.
One of the main reasons I wanted to see this movie is because of how glossy 300 was; it was literally the only movie I’ve seen where the characters and scenery are displayed in an almost half-animated style. And this sequel brought back that style – only this time, something was different. Its not as animated as the first, giving it a slightly different feel. Like an old war film you catch on television.
Whenever the Spartans were onboard their ships and engaged in a fight with the Persians, I found the graphics impressive; although quite dark, the clarity was incredible.
Scenes involving the Aegean Ocean were beautiful. The massive full moon hanging in the sky, smoke rising from the water.. these elements created a mysterious, smoky atmosphere which totally added to the action on screen. And you get camera shots from under the water too – excellent use of CGI for the underwater creatures and the scenery change from the Spartans antics on land to being underwater was much needed, and added lovely visual dynamic.
Parts of the movie felt like a dream. For example, the scene where the Spartans coax the Persians into a trap – and one of our hero warriors runs at full speed, then as he reaches the cliff edge suddenly breaks into slow motion.. then jumps into the air, slow motion as he falls all the way down and hits the Persian ship.. then snaps into real-time again, before slicing his way through his first lot of enemies. This scene was like being caught in a dream – the sort of dream where you try running, but somehow can’t move. And when you do, you find yourself running at a slow pace.
Whether or not the 300 movies are inspired by dreamlike sequences or not, they certainly resonate with this style.
Keep your eyes peeled during this movie, because there are some brilliant scenes you won’t want to miss. And these scenes are complimented by great special effects. One scene I enjoyed heartily was a fight – played out in slow motion, so that each chop resonated through the auditorium, every slice made the audience react with gasps (or rather, the girl sat next to me with her boyfriend) – it was a shocker. But a bloody great ride.
If you’re at all squeamish about blood and gore, then you chose the right movie to sit through. Because you’re in for a proper treat..
I’m talking blood. Everywhere. For the whole movie.
From “aaand….ACTION!”, there is blood – and it continues throughout the movie with force. Because bodies are sliced perfectly in half, skulls are split open with swords, and the men keep getting impaled with arrows (their own fault really. Topless and hanging around on the edge of their ship in full view of the enemy). There is a hell of a lot of blood, spattered in every direction – its every vampire’s paradise.
I noticed the consistency of the blood – thick. Very thick, almost juicy. The CGI used for it was rather delicious, and at one point I couldn’t help wondering if this was a symbolic reference to the phrase about blood being thicker than water. Seeing as all battles taking place between the men were on water – and the blood was thick. I kind of put two and two together, you know.
Jesus, she was fantastic. Eva Green – a lovely, pretty little thing who grew some decent sized balls for the role of Artemisia. A deliciously evil look in her eye and a wardrobe to rival the likes of Lady Gaga, this woman strides onto her ship with sheer authority. She’s a bitch – and she knows it. Her contempt for Themistocles is displayed with perfection; it all comes from her booming voice, aggressive attitude and THAT look in her eyes. Her shipmates fear her, the Spartans are weary of her.. she’s practically her own god.
As she struts up and down her ship, she stares coldly at her shipmates who seem to cower under her wrath. Head up and hair blowing wildly in the wind, she stares across the water and announces war. And judging by the look in her eyes, it will be bloody..
Eva plays the character faultlessly and with such passion, that she makes Artemisia completely her own. She is the sort of girl you see at drama school – dedicated to her work and when she gets up on stage, has a unique way of captivating the audience. And just like a drama school student delivering a piece of Shakespearean script, Eva delivers in a traditional, classical way.
Praise for Eva Green, who brought sheer talent to the screen in 300: Rise of an Empire. I certainly wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of her. The director couldn’t have chosen a better woman. Again, it was all in the face, voice and acting – which let’s be honest.. is a good actor.
Lean, ripped men greased up with oil.. a tatty loin cloth hangs loose, exposing gorgeous chunky thighs. Biceps tense, deltoids bulge and pectoral muscles yearn to be touched..
Let me make one thing crystal clear – 300: Rise of an Empire is homoeroticism televised; it is every gay guy’s masturbatory dream, every straight woman’s fantasy. And by Christ, did I enjoy every fucking second.
I’m sorry, but tell me one straight man who can sit through the 300 movies without thinking how stunning the men’s bodies are. It doesn’t have to be in a “I would” sense, the guys watching it could be envious – jealous – or even inspired to start working for a better body. But I honestly think many heterosexual men out there have appreciated the bodies of the Spartans. I mean, they’re not just watching it for the delicate bloody storyline are they.
I wonder if its possible to get that many half-naked beautiful men together in one space, and not find a bender between all of them. I pondered this as I sat watching the film last night – thousands of years ago in these times, most of the men were actually banging each other, due to lack of women (and possibly how they fancied each other) – I wondered if during filming 300: Rise of an Empire, any of the actors got ‘that’ urge..
I quote Queen Gorgo as Themistocles stands watching a yard of men wrestling, “..you’ve come a long way to stroke your cock whilst watching real men train”.
With the dripping wet bodies, chunky thighs, very masculine postures and chests which seem to inflate the entire screen, this movie is homoerotic to the extreme. Yes ladies, double up on panties – and boys.. shove an ice-pack down there. Because 300: Rise of an Empire radiates enough steam to keep you gooey for weeks.
Themistocles stands looking down at Artemisia. As she cranes her neck up at him and pouts, his nostrils flare. Something is stirring deep inside.. he grits his teeth, then yanks his loin cloth from his body. Pushing her toward the table, he slams Artermisia on her back and lifts her legs up..
Then lifting her up, Themistocles takes Artemisia over to the wall where he slams her violently into it. She lets out a moan of pleasure as he grits his teeth again, a heavy breath being pumped out of him each time he enters her. Running his tongue slowly up her neck, she reaches above her and hold on to whatever she can find to steady herself, before wrapping her legs around him and taking him in.
Every inch of him is inside her – pumping harder, harder, faster. His cock wrapped in her wet, inviting vagina. His face drips with sweat as he grins down at her, and then snaps his neck back in ecstasy as he exhales a loud moan.
Pulling her off of his tense, sweaty smooth body, Themistocles drags her off the table and leans her against it – her back to him. His chunky thighs raise off the floor as he fucks her from behind.
..I felt wasted. In a daze.
I don’t think I even blinked during this scene.
And I had an boner the size of the Empire fucking State Building.
As Themistocles stood towering above Artemisia, a look of rugged sexual aggression on his face, I found myself silently uttering “please, no – no. Don’t..” – with the hopes that this man (practically sex on legs) would walk away and not pursue her.
This scene was SMOKING HOT. And if him banging his enemy wasn’t horny enough, when they’d finished he stood up – WITH NO LOIN CLOTH ON – holding it limply by his side. Oh, we get to see his undercarriage – but unfortunately no penis. Fuck me, it was like staring into the eyes of God himself. I found myself letting out a few groans of frustration – and I hope to God no-one in the auditorium caught the look on my face..
This movie wasn’t all spears, swords, and sex. Like many other cinema releases it had its flaws, though very few.
Firstly, any attempt at humour (character dropping a wisecrack or saying something which could have been funny) was lost instantly. The audience never reacted at all to these bits. There was actually a moment where Themistocles said something sarcastically witty to Artemisia, and even let out a laugh as he said it.
..complete silence from the audience.
Another flaw would be lack of plot. Although filmed in almost the same way as its first instalment, 300: Rise of an Empire sees a handful of characters at war with each other whom – although creating a nice drama – I genuinely couldn’t give a crap about. This sequel is more of a drama than the first, but its ability to serve up issues, characters, situations the viewer couldn’t care less about was impeccable.
I just sat there letting them get on with it, lost amongst a sea of bodies and not caring either way what happened.
King Xerxes – fancy some input? At some stage?
The movie opens with the introduction of a man named Xerxes – who we see embark on a journey across a desert, before bathing in an otherworldly liquid and turning into a ‘God-King’.
But although his transformation is rather fascinating – he fucks off, and is hardly seen throughout the movie. Appearing once or twice but then just remains forgotten until he pays a visit toward the end. Strange, because the poster / publicity for the movie gives the impression of this man being a vital character. He is not.
I kept praying the Spartans would do this throughout the entire movie – for a completely reverse reason – they were seriously making my head spin. ‘Hot under the collar’ is not the phrase to describe the situation; a fucking lightning bolt had struck my collar – burnt open my shirt and set fire to my nipples, I swear to god.
One scene sees a batch of Spartans on horseback. Sitting tall, their chunky legs drape over the side of the animal as if they are naked horse-riding. The sight of this made me groan out loud in pleasure – again – having to look around to check no-one heard.. But the boys just kept coming, kept delivering the muscle. I nearly lost control when the thought crossed my mind, “I wonder if those boys are HUNG like horses?..”
On a drier note, I noticed each and every warrior is perfectly smooth – apart from their sexy facial hair. Ancient Greece might not stock razors, but it delivered well on the waxing strips.
300: Rise of an Empire is hot. In every sense. Brilliant CG-3D graphics, nice tension and some VERY sexy men. If you enjoyed the first movie, you will no doubt like this one. However, it is more dramatic than the first – meaning much of the focus goes on the dialogue of battle rather than the surreal atmosphere and special effects (think Jurassic Park with the dinosaurs being the backdrop whilst the characters clog up the screen with their personal issues, etc.).
This movie nicely complements the original, and is worth a watch if you are interested in this type of genre.
..just maybe cross your legs whenever the boys are on screen.
I wish I did, but they naturally continued to widen throughout. I was fucking soaked by the time I left.
Gustave H is a highly popular concierge at a famous European hotel. And his trusted colleague Zero Moustafa is always by his side.
However, events are about to take a rather sinister turn – leading Gustave away from his beloved hotel, and into some rather sticky situations…
Ralph Fiennes – M. Gustave
F. Murray Abraham – Mr. Moustafa
Mathieu Amalric – Serge X
Adrien Brody – Dmitri
Willem Dafoe – J.G. Jopling
Jeff Goldblum – Deputy Kovacs
Jude Law – Young Writer
Harvey Keitel – Ludwig
Bill Murray – M. Ivan
Edward Norton – Inspector Henckels
Saoirse Ronan – Agatha
Léa Seydoux – Clotilde
Jason Schwartzman – M. Jean
Tilda Swinton - Madame D.
Tom Wilkinson – Author
Owen Wilson – M. Chuck
Tony Revolori – Zero Moustafa
Bob Balaban – M. Martin
This movie was bloody hilarious. Colourful and extremely witty, I was captivated all the way through. So its not your average Hollywood smasher, but it is definitely theatrical – and I say this because of the atmosphere it created. I felt as though I was sat in a theatre, watching a brilliant cast ensemble and listening to the traditionally funny script of a live performance.
The Grand Budapest Hotel is narrated throughout, by Mr. Moustafa (Abraham) accompanied by a writer (Law) who narrates his own story of meeting the gentleman. The movie centres around the mishaps and antics of Gustave H, giving way to some very farcical situations. The one-liners, the dialogue between characters, the slapstick scenarios which unfolded.. it was like having theatre streamed live into the cinema.
Thespians, stage directors and fans of theatre itself may just love this movie due to the nature of it, the mood of it. It mirrors the exact atmosphere that I personally, have felt in theatres in the past.
Although a genuine story of a man’s younger years, the fashion in how this movie is played out is surreal. This is mainly down to the cast; people running around in a fluster, wide-eyed facial expressions, etc. The setting, scenery and camerawork also lend a hand to the creation of the surreal environment. Inside the hotel, we get some nice birds-eye views from balconies and stairwells – looking down on the foyer for example whilst characters are engaged in frolic. The interior structure and general colours reminded me slightly of that hotel in famous horror The Shining – long corridoors lined with pattered carpet, etc. All design certainly mirrored the era it is set in.
Outside seemed to be the stuff dreams are made of. Think of a vast bright sky, dotted with fluffy white clouds, tall grey mountains for a background – then stick a sumptuous, pink hotel in front of it all. That’s your setting. Calm, sweet, pretty. The image of the Great Budapest Hotel reminded me of a gargantuan wedding cake: a pink sponge base, layered with tiers of cream.
Beautiful if slightly surreal.
Writers Wes Anderson and Hugo Guinness nailed it with their hilarious script. Quick, colourful and bursting with innuendo, the audience were laughing out loud for a good percentage of The Grand Budapest Hotel. And the script was brought to life superbly by Gustave H (Fiennes) – the man was bloody hysterical, delivering each line with such perfect diction and pronounciation - and terrific comedic timing. It is almost poetic, the way he speaks. Gustave H gets into some ‘awfully sticky’ situations – including fights, chases and a prison escape.
And during his antics, his flambouyant personality never falters, meaning he is the light and airy chap who looks on the bright side given any situation. But with personality comes voice – this character is outspoken and comes out with some shocking things..
One scene sees our main main stood over the coffin of a deceased friend. As he looks down at her, comments on how well they did her up at the morgue – and how he must get the same face cream she is wearing.
..the audience laughed out loud. But it didn’t stop there, the laughter erupted frequently. Especially whenever Gustave addressed a fellow (straight) gentleman as “darling”.
Risqué and inappropriate things were being said quite a lot, but were actually rather funny when vocalised.
The Grand Budapest Hotel is brought to the audience through the art of storytelling.
Distinctive characters (I.E. the lawyer, the bakery shop girl, a tyrant, the maid and master, a rich old widow) each have their turn in the spotlight which adds nice variety to the movie; keeping it moving with great fluidity.
As Gustave / Mr. Moustafa narrates the story, each scene springs into life, and then the spoken character takes over – scenes keep changing, but its good they do – because if they DIDN’T, this movie would seriously lack juice. It all blends one to the other at a great pace.
I wasn’t jumping up and down with delight at this movie, but I did find myself enjoying it for all its 99 minute screen time. It is one of those again – let it run, wash over you. Don’t analyse it too much and you will find yourself naturally being sucked in to the action.
I sat back and enjoyed The Grand Budapest Hotel. I sniggered, laughed out loud, and embraced the parts which should be embraced. The cast, the colours, the stories – all blended nicely and complimented its surreal atmosphere.
The Grand Budapest Hotel is unique. It has a very funny script which is played out by a fantastic cast ensemble. Colourful and dynamic, it tells the stories of various characters which echo through the generations.
Fast-paced action produces precious moments of slapstick farce, which is highly enjoyable. And if you’re wanting interesting characters – these people go a step further by setting a surreal scene in which caricature-style people are created.
I would absolutely recommend this movie to theatregoers and anyone else involved with on-stage performances – it is that kind of atmosphere, and would definitely suit the stage.
One of the most unusual things I’ve seen in a long time.
Give it a go.
In the 1980′s Bruce Garrett was a successful Salsa dancer. With his sister Sam as his dance partner, he conquered the world – well – northern England – touring place to place and wowing crowds everywhere. Known for his ‘feet of flames’ and elaborate outfits, Bruce was a young chap whose dancing skill mean’t he was sorted for life. Success was imminent.
..he is now an unfit, disgruntled engineer who works in an office.
Nick Frost – Bruce
Rashida Jones – Julia
Chris O’Dowd – Drew
Olivia Coleman – Sam
Ian McShane – Ron Parfitt
Alexandra Roach – Helen
Kayvan Novak – Bejan
Rory Kinnear - Gary
When I first saw the advert for Cuban Fury, I really wasn’t won over at all. Firstly, I can’t bloody stand Nick Frost. Its not that I don’t find him funny – I physically can’t find him funny. And then of course the Salsa theme which involved him shuffling through an hour or so of film..
No. This looked awful.
..it was great.
Cuban Fury turned out to be 98 minutes of very funny script and slapstick, provided by an excellent mixed bag of actors. As well as being very watchable, it made me ‘LOL’ in many parts. An element of movies I adore.
But what (if any) were the flaws?
Did Nick manage to win me over this time?
And how much does it really deserve out of ten?…
Read on to find out.
Cuban Fury has a very funny script, and is full of wonderfully funny moments. This is my first observation – the humour. The plot is very simple; man loses his confidence in a certain ability and strives to get it back whilst trying to win over the woman he lusts after. The movie flows at a nice speed, throwing a lot of comedy at the audience as it does so. Its message is simple – there are no dragged-out, over-analysed scenes or speeches. And these elements are what makes it very watchable.
Cuban Fury reminded me of one of those ‘randoms’ you find on television – you kick back and let it nicely wash over you without having to concentrate too hard – it just happens. And its enjoyable. The reason why I find it well written is due to the adult humour and observational comedy. It doesn’t try too hard to be funny, it just is – because of the subtle actions performed by the actors (which are actions you genuinely do find in most day-to-day situations), and the true words spoken.
I love a movie that can make me laugh out loud. There’s no better feeling is there – when you genuinely find something funny and let out a hearty reaction in response. Those warm chemicals are released, and you feel good from it. There are plenty of laugh-out-loud moments in Cuban Fury, which flow from its witty script. I found myself laughing at the subtlest of things. For example, the scene where Gary knocks on Bruce’s front door – Bruce opens it and Gary asks if he wants to go out that night. But when Bruce turns him down, Gary replies: “what am I supposed to do all night? Stay in, wanking?”
I fucking HOWLED with laughter. The way he delivered this line was so natural, and is something one person would say to another in a real-life scenario (I would).
And then Olivia – her ‘posh lady who swears a lot’ personality was hysterical whenever she uttered the word ‘fuck’. The audience seemed to love her. Throughout the film, it is Sam (Coleman) and Gary (Kinnear) who deliver the funniest lines and the best comedy moments – two very expressive actors who don’t have to try very hard to deliver effective performances. In fact, these two overrule Mr. Frost himself.
Where was HE in all of this?…
Nick Frost. The “what film you were in again?” of Hollywood. Easy to forget until he pops up on screen again. One of the least sexually-appealing actors in the film industry. The least funny one of his duo with Simon Pegg.
I can’t stand him, I really can’t. Can you tell?
I’m sorry, but as a ‘comedian’ he just doesn’t cut it with me – he is not funny. In the big wide world of film and television we have a massive range of actors and comedians, each with their own trait. Own characteristics. An element of their personality which makes them stand out.
I don’t see anything in Nick Frost – at all. He just slumps his way round films, haplessly following his on-screen partner. Oh, he manages to deliver any character – the only flaw is that each character is basically the same as the one in the film he made before.
Rik Mayall, Joanna Lumley, Jim Carrey, Melissa McCarthy – they each have their own diverse quality which makes them stand out. Where the bloody hell is Nick Frost’s?.. there are no obvious qualities about the man at all that wins people over. He’s just – there.
And then of course I sat down to watch him in Cuban Fury.
And I was pleasantly surprised..
OK, Nick Frost still wasn’t hilarious – but it was his natural acting ability which won me over in this movie. I enjoyed his performance of downtrodden Bruce. He played the character effortlessly and was very believable. He seemed to coast through this movie with no problem, and was the perfect actor for the role of such a disgruntled man. OK, so it was genuinely difficult for me to feel sorry for the dude – due to him having an air of irritant instead of sadness about him – but nonetheless he managed to pull me in and I found myself engaged in his story.
As an actor, Nick Frost isn’t bad at all. So he always seems to play the same character and nothing about him screams ‘talent’, but at the same time he passes for actually being an actor. In Cuban Fury, it is his on-screen colleagues who take the lead in delivering some excellent comedy.
Olivia Coleman. She seems to springing up everywhere nowadays doesn’t she.
I first saw her in something years ago when I was little, and then recognised that face again when watching The Iron Lady back in 2011 (as Carol Thatcher). Since then, she has graced the screen rather frequently with her naturally subtle appearance. But behind that subtlety is some powerful talent. And Cuban Fury exposed the more hilarious side..
What can I say, the woman was fucking FUNNY.
She plays Bruce’s supportive sister Samantha – a woman in her mid-thirties who works as a ‘Hula Girl’ in a local bar. The brother and sister team is reformed for a Salsa competition in one part of the movie – and by Christ, can Olivia dance – she shakes her booty around the dance floor like a pro, and the finale of the couple’s dance sees her perform the splits whilst Bruce holds her in mid-air.
Just brilliant. I could tell the audience (most of which were foreign – relevant perhaps?) were enjoying it as much as I was, from their reactions. So keep your eyes peeled for this scene, its fast and (oddly) sexy.
Olivia has fantastic comedic skills and natural dance abilities, both of which are ignited with sheer force during this movie.
Well done, Olivia.
(..and if that was a body double, I may feel slightly deflated).
The joker, the comic relief. This character is hilarious.
Bejan is a fellow dance classmate of Bruce – who quickly becomes a close friend. But from the moment we see this camp Latin man wiggle on to the dance floor, the laughs come thick and fast. The audience were HOWLING with laughter whenever he was on screen, and I must say – although overly camp men turn me off immediately, Bejan had me in bloody stitches and I was lapping him up.
He actually reminded me a little of Hollywood from 80′s movie Mannequin. Remember him? The obviously homosexual joker who remains a fixed point of the movie by being a colourful dose of comic relief. This was just like that – the same sort of guy, isn’t in the film constantly but when he is, he adds an excellent spark.
I had absolutely no idea Bejan is played by Kayvan Novak; genius behind the British television set-up show Fonejacker. I sat watching this hilarious man thinking, “don’t think I’ve seen him before”.. but I’ve definitely heard him before. I’ll admit, I own all series of Fonejacker on DVD – because it is fucking hilarious. Phoning a random list of complete strangers – from housewives to shopkeepers – and by playing with stupid voices, lead them to believe you’re genuinely contacting them for something..
Immature – maybe. Funny – definitely.
From voice and camp mannerisms, down to the costume, Kayvak absolutely nailed Bejan. (you know, nailed – achieved)
Those of you who are in touch with your Latin dance and culture, or are in fact actually Latin, should enjoy this movie. We are introduced lightly to Salsa – whereby Bruce attends his first class. He meets the dance teacher and she begins taking him through his steps. And then shortly after this the movie gets a sexy injection of proper Latino music, the language, genuine clothing & accessories and professional Salsa dancers. The whole film starts to ooze the spicy foreign quality only Latinos can produce, heating it all up nicely.
The foreign audience members sat near me seemed to be loving it.
Certain parts of Cuban Fury were hysterical. And other parts made my mouth drop open, stunned. A few examples below:
Drew (to Julia): “I would be honoured if you would.. let me fuck you”
Bejan: “..we are Goonies. It’s just us down here, and them up there” – (no one in the audience reacted to this apart from me. I think this movie related one-liner went straight over their heads)
Sam – scene at work where she’s on the phone with one hand, creating a pineapple-filled cocktail with the other.
Bruce – scene at work where he punches a wall and his arm goes straight through it. Helen then passes by and asks him something work-related, completely oblivious to his accident. (another audience howler)
Drew (referring to Julia): “..I would make a splash in that like a milk truck smashing into a wall”
Gary: “what am I supposed to do all night? Stay in, wanking?” – followed by an explanation of his sneaky plan to rid the house of his girlfriend so that he can get up to no good.
Helen: “..miss ‘I’m so American’…” – mocking new boss Julia and pronouncing the word ‘American’ in a very deep Welsh accent, which evoked howls of laughter from the audience.
I need to expel this from my system:
Is it just me and only me, or is Rory Kinnear rather sexual? He’s balding slightly on top, but fuck me – there’s something rugged about him and whenever Gary was on screen I was rather enjoying myself. (enjoying the moment, not physically enjoying myself, you know).
He’s no Hollywood hunk, but by Christ I’d baste his turkey for him.
Right, I’m going to finish up here – feel a bit flushed.
So Cuban Fury proved rather entertaining. I honestly had my doubts before I saw it, but when it finished I was glad I did. This movie is very well written and is dripping with fantastic humour and witty moments. The concept is simple, the messages are clear.
The other actors outshone Nick Frost by miles, but I knew this would happen – and I’m bloody glad they did. This movie took a proper mixed bag of actors and showcased the comedic skill of each individual one, delivering a healthy serving of slapstick fun which the audience loved. Cuban Fury is very funny and entertaining – you don’t have to think too much about it. Just let it wash over you and enjoy its precious moments.
Oh, and keep your eyes peeled – a certain ‘someone’ makes a split-second appearance…
Afraid of flying? You ain’t seen nothing yet..
Air marshal Bill Marks boards a flight from New York to London. Shortly after takeoff, his phone chimes. With a life-changing text message:
“I’m going to kill someone on this plane every 20 minutes, unless $150 million is transferred to this account.”
Turbulence just became irrelevant. And fear of flying can take back seat. Because the situation which is about to unfold is going to blow anything else out of the sky..
Liam Neeson – Bill Marks
Julianne Moore – Jen Summers
Michelle Dockery – Nancy
Scoot McNairy -Tom Bowen
Omar Metwally – Dr. Fahim Nasir
Jason Butler Harner – Kyle Rice
Shea Whigham – Agent Marenick
The main element of Non-Stop that stands out for me is how tense it is. I’m not kidding when I tell you I was hooked during some scenes – as if I found it difficult to tear my eyes away from the screen. The overall claustrophobic, cryptic atmosphere it created was what I found most absorbing. and like a giant puzzle whose pieces were about to be slammed together, this movie was pretty damn intriguing.
So it’s not the best action movie I’ve sat through, but it certainly delivered where and when it should have done. At certain points, I actually found myself wide-eyed and biting down deliciously on my bottom lip – this is the effect Non-Stop had on me. It was brilliantly consistent and full of the kind of tension only panic on a packed aircraft can produce.
The scene where Jen (Moore) and air hostess Nancy are asked to examine the aircraft’s CCTV and seek out potential terrorist suspects adds nicely to the tension of the movie, and is rather slick. Again, I found myself biting my bottom lip and totally lapping up the ‘so dangerous it’s fun’ atmosphere. The pair – armed with marker pens – have to observe the seated passengers and suss out who may be using a mobile phone, so that Bill (Neeson) can uncover the person who is sending him threatening text messages.
“32B – cell phone”
“15C – on her laptop”
As the women circled suspects, I found myself smiling with pleasure – I was bloody loving this subtle yet important scenario.
What can I say other than.. he was exactly the same as any other of his roles: stern, cold facial expression (has Botox ensured his face can only stretch to a certain point?) and his classic monotone voice. Let’s be honest – Liam Neeson plays the exact same role in every movie he stars in doesn’t he.
I reckon he was typecast at the beginning of his career, and it set in stone (like his face, unfortunately). Hollywood is bursting with actors and actresses who each have their own distinctive acting qualities, pulling off different characters who are so different from each other.
Enchanted – sweet, adorable naive princess.
American Hustle – total bitch, sex-fuelled vamp.
Side Effects – good posture, polite, professinal doctor
Don Hemingway – a walking disaster, emotinal wreck, cockney drunk and disorderly.
Blue Jasmine – a slumped, nervous wreck on the verge of (another) breakdown
The Monuments Men – smart, nerdy, well-mannered, very believable as a foreigner.
Taken – stoney-faced, stiff hardman. Seems to attract the main female role, but never gets round to banging her. A family man who rarely shows emotion. Monotone voice.
The Grey – Ditto.
Unknown – Ditto.
Non-Stop – Ditto.
I therefore conclude that Liam was exactly the same as most other roles in this movie.
With the same two traits:
Mobile phone pinned to his ear, whilst wielding a gun
But that doesn’t mean he was total shit – on the contrary, he seemed to deliver his role faultlessly, bringing a whole load of ‘CRASH, BANG’ and jump-fly through the air whilst firing a gun moments. He pulls it off and serves up a healthy amount of nail-biting stuff. If you’re a fan of Mr. Neeson you’ll no doubt enjoy Non-Stop.
I can’t fault the supporting cast and extras of this movie. They all work together so well that it seemed like a genuine real-life hostage situation.
We get the classic “yeah man” rude boy passengers, the old couple where the wife seems to be the funniest of the two, a young 7-year-old girl who has never flown before and is scared shitless.. the cabin crew, a slut, a geek, a suspicious Arab, and the frequent flyer – its a pretty mixed bag, but they all help to set the scene and create an excellent atmosphere.
As the movie is set on an aircraft the supporting cast are visible for 70% of its screen time, thus proving every bit as relevant as the lead roles.
Nice work, Julianne.
She doesn’t get a massive amount of screen time, but for what she does get she delivers splendidly. Almost a cameo, Julianne brightens up the aircraft with her vibrant red hair as frequent flyer Jen. She’s the classic friendly, neighbourly passenger who starts talking to Bill the second he sits down in his seat. The chemistry between Neeson and Moore is natural and they are very convincing as a ‘we just met’ couple.
Julianne brings a mature yet comedic air to the movie – one minute she’s ducking and diving about the plane in sheer panic with Liam, the next she’s standing in the galley pouring herself a very large Scotch. She is slick and confident, adding nicely to the ingredients of cast. The director couldn’t have chosen a better actress to fill the spot, she is the comic relief.
I couldn’t help thinking as I sat watching her in Non-Stop, how brilliant Julianne would be for a part in Desperate Housewives – and what better part to assign her than Bree’s sister. Both flame-haired and sultry, and she even has that housewife appearance and attitude. I’d like to see that.
As well as tension and panic, the movie creates a sheer sense of suspense throughout.
When Bill begins to receive text messages from ‘unknown’, a game of Guess Who kicks off – our main man has to figure out who on the aircraft is sending the messages, as well as get to the bottom of why, and what may happen next. Standing at one end of the plane, he looks down the aisle – and the craziest game of Guess Who begins..
This scenario unfolds quickly and is rather lengthy, but at the same time gives the movie the kick of suspense it needs to keep it flowing nicely. Who is the mystery pest?
One of the crew?
Or someone much closer to home?..
What ran the risk of being a drawn-out, tedious affair actually became the part of the movie that kept me hooked – I was literally trying to guess along with the character, it was quite entertaining.
..far from the classic game Guess Who however, Non-Stop was more about the main character throwing random people around the aircraft and beating the shit out of them until they owned up. Not exactly, “does he or she wear glasses, and in a bobble hat?”
As with many movies, we get the great stuff – and then the crap stuff. And Non-Stop is no exception. Firstly – the air hostess Nancy. As a character, she’s a much needed part – but what the hell was going on with her voice?! At the beginning of the movie – her first scene – she speaks in a well-spoken, proper British accent.
..which then turns northern.
..then Cockney London.
..back to northern.
…and then back to Cockney London.
I honestly couldn’t fathom what the fuck she was supposed to be, or where from. To be honest, I didn’t really care – but having her wading in and out of various accents next to Mr. Neeson’s husky monotone, it was literally like listening to two members of a speech therapy school whenever they were in a scene together.
And Bill’s downfall?..
Although he’s our main man and manages to keep the movie flowing nicely, he’s can be bloody annoying at times. Without any form of proof or evidence, he charges at people he thinks may be involved in the terrorism threat – and nine times out of ten, the poor sod he’s ambushed is innocent. But he continues his aggressive rampage through the jet, using his fists at every opportunity.
Unfortunately, it is this exact element of Non-Stop which throws a spanner in the works (or rather – a pigeon in the engine) and slows the process down somewhat. Because whenever his plan to thwart someone fails, or the passengers / crew turn against him, Bill retreats to the back of the aircraft – and slumps into a corner to have a cigarette.
I suppose there is only so much you can do on an aircraft, but Christ – Bill’s accusations became tiresome, as he continued to jump random passengers again and again.
One scene sees the discovery of a bomb onboard the aircraft – and the panic kicks off BIG TIME.
But although terrifying, this scene is bloody funny and full of compassion. Bill – along with four or five other passengers / crew members – frantically attempts to stop the bomb from going off, and searches for a way to stop it before the countdown hits 00:00.
As the characters gather round looking down at the dangerous item before them, one of them quips, “isn’t there a wire we can cut?”..
The look on Bill’s face is hysterical.
For a split second, there was an air of hilarity about the situation – just from what the man had said. The audience laughed out loud – this was a dollop of comedy you don’t usually get in a terrorism situation, and actually lifted the mood nicely.
..but then, think about it: all these Hollywood attempts at portraying terrorism – how Hollywood imagines the people would react – they’ve all been the same old shit haven’t they. Constant panic, threat – everyone serious. But to be completely honest, you do get the odd character in real life who comes out with a totally naive, almost stupid-sounding comment in a dangerous situation.
(I probably would too – I think the adrenaline and fear would take over, and I’d probably mumble something about forgetting to finish season 4 of The Walking Dead before I’m blown out of the universe).
As the desperation continues, this unlikely team of airplane passengers band together to try and disarm the explosive. This scene was actually very tense – seeing a bunch of strangers working together as quickly as possible, to save their arses. But can they work it out in time before the bomb detonates, or will they have an almighty disaster to add to the current situation?..
On a personal note, I am from a town just down the road from seaside city Brighton on the South Coast of England. I now live in London (you’ve probably guess this from the cinema locations printed on my tickets) – this is why it was a pleasant surprise to hear Brighton’s name mentioned in Non-Stop.
It’s literally a split-second scene between Bill and a potential suspect; he demands to know where the man is travelling. To which the man responds, “I’m flying to London because I have a client in Brighton”.
I felt a homely flicker of comfort inside me (albeit the seagull shit) as I remembered lovely Brighton – gay capital of England, and major tourist attraction. I guess you could say, it BRIGHTONED up my day.
Ah, hahah haaha, har! Oh, I’m witty.
One of the best scenes of Non-Stop is when an accident causes part of the aircraft to shatter, and the side breaks off. Jen desperately tries to save the little girl she is sat next to as the child is sucked sideways into the air..
..but does she succeed?
This part of the movie reminded me of 2000′s Final Destination. Remember that? Where a bunch of college kids get on a plane to Paris, and the aircraft splits apart, people being sucked into the night sky? The similarity was uncanny. But this part definitely stands out for me – slightly shocking and breathtaking, I loved it. Keep your eyes peeled though, it all happens very quickly.
I’m not going to give away the ending, but I will say it is possibly one of THE CHEESIEST curtain-drop’s to a movie I’ve ever witnessed. When the carnage is over and those who survived land back on the ground, the actions and words spoken are cringeworthy. Very cringeworthy.
This movie is very watchable – and it is bursting with action which provides more than enough nail-biting moments throughout. Its best element has got to be the air of tension which flows from the screen at certain points. It blends thriller with comedy nicely, helped along by the great ensemble of cast.
If its action you’re wanting, I don’t think this movie will disappoint; it is full-on. But its no Red Eye, or Flightplan – unlike most other scary thrillers set on a plane, Non-Stop is funny as well as serious. And it is this comedy which makes it that little bit more life-like; how people genuinely react in panic situations. I love a movie which genuinely evokes reactions from me – where my eyes widen, I’m biting my lip, etc. And this one did that.
The fact it is set on an aircraft (nowhere to run / hide) gives it the claustrophobic atmosphere too. Unfortunately, Liam Neeson doesn’t step up or tone down – he is exactly as he always is. Which is probably why the supporting cast seem brilliant. But then it gave them a chance to shine in their own individual roles.
This movie isn’t incredible – but its a great ride, and entertains.
..but WHO IS the sinister pest onboard?
Is there a nasty secret behind Jen’s smile?..
Why is air hostess Nancy so nervous?..
A tough-guy passenger seems full of rage..
But then the pilot has a strange glint in his eye..
Are they even onboard?…
1943. World War II.
Frank Stokes is about to assemble a group known as ‘The Monuments Men’ – an Army unit where each member specialise in museums or historic art. Together, they will rescue as many treasures of the Western civilization as possible; precious statues, monuments and original framed paintings.
Treasure hunts, car chases, bad guys, shoot-out’s and a hell of a lot of smoking. This group is about to jump feet-first into the middle of the war. And its going to be a VERY bumpy ride…
George Clooney – Frank Stokes
Nick Clooney – Frank Stokes (old)
Matt Damon – Lt. James Granger
Bill Murray – Sgt. Richard Campbell
John Goodman – Sgt. Walter Garfield
Jean Dujardin – Lt. Jean Claude Clermont
Cate Blanchett – Claire Simone
Bob Balaban – Pvt. Preston Savitz
Hugh Bonneville – Lt. Donald Jeffries
Sam Hazeldine – Colonel Langton
The opening scene of The Monuments Men was done brilliantly; a shiny black 1937 Mercedes races round a corner in urgency, before the main characters are shown one by one. The music, the action, it all has the feeling of a classic vintage TV show – remember Dad’s Army or ‘Allo ‘Allo? That kind of thing. And the element of the opening I liked the most was the fact every individual character was introduced immediately. There was no drawn-out crap – no delay – no piss-boring backstories – we were delivered Frank, Claire, Walter, James, BANG, BANG, BANG. Just like that.
I could tell from this fast-paced opening sequence that we were in for a ride, and it wasn’t long before I was proved correct.
The most precious element that runs strong throughout the entire movie, is the cast ensemble. The on-screen chemistry between Damon, Blanchett, Murray and the other boys was filled with brilliant dynamics. I’ve seen live theatre performances where the ensemble was strong and wonderfully glued together, where I embraced the atmosphere I was drawn in to with passion and admiration.
..and this was the exact reaction I had to the cast of The Monuments Men.
Before the movie began, I had my doubts. “Oh Christ”, I thought to myself, “John Goodman AGAIN. George Clooney AGAIN”. I like Matt Damon, but mixed with a bunch of oldies, and will Cate be as good as her previous performance in Blue Jasmine?..
They pulled it off excellently.
Having a young chap like Matt acting out a scene with 3 or 4 of Hollywood’s O.A.P.’s added diversity to the movie – and then of course the only main female role played by Cate was different; a group of men and one female had a sort of feminine restriction thing going on. And the fact Claire was a spy added a nice twist in the tale.
There isn’t a hell of a lot I can elaborate on because you can all see the cast line-up yourselves. But I will state for the record, they are a faultless ensemble each actor as strong as the other – and they seem to play out the movie effortlessly.
Why does Bill Murray not look any older?!
Call me a retro boy, but my main movie memory of him is Ghostbusters as Peter Venkman. Of course he’s aged, but he looks exactly the same as he used to and his presence on screen is just as full of humour.
Bill is certainly in no hurry to get old, raggy and retire – on the contrary, he is just as strong as ever in this movie. I don’t know what it is about the man, but I feel an air of hilarity when I look at him. Perhaps its his dry facial expressions or natural sarcasm – he seems to be brilliant at delivering serious emotion, yet bringing a whole load of ‘LOL’ with it. Thing is, I remember when I saw him in Zombieland (you know – that random ‘end of world’ flick set on a fairground starring Emma Stone) and when he made his appearance (as himself) he looked really old and grey?.. perhaps they made him up to look like that. But I honestly thought he looked older than in The Monuments Men.
Bill Murray is a wonderful addition to the cast of The Monuments Men, providing a comforting, wise old character. A familiar face who is rather witty, yet like the other characters, has a rather heartbreaking back-story of his own..
I found the whole concept of this movie very swashbuckling. What the main characters get up to and how they get up to it contains an air of excitement continuously. Stolen paintings, hidden treasure, Nazi car chases, cave-dwelling.. these exciting elements blend together and ribbon the movie with a wonderfully adventurous atmosphere.
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade meets The Goonies, as this story is propelled forward with wonderfully valiant force. And as the men proceed to uncover and rescue more works of art, they are faced with various threats which they must overcome together. And its no picnic – as well as their discoveries of hidden gems, they are confronted by gun-wielding enemies.
The story contains this element of excitement which gift-wraps the entire movie and helps it to pick up pace (instead of stalling) along the way. And it is this exact element which kept me hooked on the screen throughout. I loved it.
..you might just love this movie.
Due to the World War II backdrop and German setting, also the heavy use of French references, natives of both countries will no doubt enjoy The Monuments Men. The movie uses filming locations such as Babelsburg Studios in Potsdam (Germany), Harz and Berlin-Brandenburg. Then of course, we have the heavily German sub-plot (being set during World War II) as well as many Nazis (some rather cute) running around shooting at our main boys.
We get a few references to Hitler, one of which proved hilarious; where Sgt. Richard Campbell (Murray) is sat at a German family’s dinner table. In order to ‘out’ the husband and wife and get closer to the truth about a stolen piece of art, he announces, “Heil Hitler” in a tone soaked in dry sarcasm.
..the couple’s two small children in the living room immediately stop playing, stand tall and yell, “HEIL HITLER!” – performed in such a passionately patriotic fashion, that the audience LOL’d joyfully.
And as for French viewers, its mainly down to Matt and Cate. There was a very funny reaction whenever Lt. James Granger attempted to speak French. Because quite simply – he was bloody awful at it. Every French character he spoke to in his version of French made a point of telling him he was shit at it (again – the audience loved this), and Matt was genuinely laugh-out-loud funny whenever he attempted to “parle Français”.
Cate Blanchett brought a fresh, new character to the screen from what she’s done previously. My first thought was, “fuck me, she’s foreign” – glasses, straight-backed posture, and hair tied back in a bun, with a fantastic convincing French accent, she got into her character effortlessly. A welcome addition to the ensemble, my admiration for her was all down to how brilliant an actress she was throughout.
..and just wait for the scene between her and Matt, where he visits her in a prison cell – her reaction to his lack of French language skills is bloody hilarious.
I cannot fault the setting, or the scenery.
The filming locations in Germany gave the movie the spark it needed, using some beautiful outdoor scenery and backdrops. Atop these vast horizons were lantern-lit caves, Nazi camps, castles and farms – each location setting the scene perfectly, I felt drawn into each bit. I’d go as far as to say the scenery was gorgeous. In the way of ‘setting the scene’, this movie cannot be any better than it is. The soundtrack is great too, very chirpy – fun, bringing the viewer directly into the action with its jazzy, swing 1940′s mood.
Before seeing The Monuments Men, I would never have thought the movie would be a funny one. But it was. A good percentage of its screen time is very watchable, enjoyable. And made me laugh quite a bit. There are of course, more emotional moments where the situation is serious – but aside from these is a lot of quirky humour; almost slapstick. Be it one-liner’s spoken by the characters or farcical scenes, the audience were laughing out loud quite frequently – and so was I.
I love it when a movie is watchable – you know – you sit there, completely relaxed allowing yourself to get sucked into what is happening on screen. You let it wash over you, as you absorb the important elements like comedy or issues the movie raises. The Monuments Men is incredibly watchable, made even more watchable by its impressive ensemble of cast.
Overall, The Monuments Men is a patriotic re-enactment of true events from the past. It is historically accurate and interesting, and very funny at the same time. It has an air of sheer adventure throughout, but remains true to its plot and manages to balance the seriousness of the effects of World War II with some nice comic moments.
The winner for me was the cast – a diverse bunch of people you wouldn’t normally see in a movie together are assembled – and the result is excellent. They really smashed this one out of the park. Worth a watch if you can get to see it. Its a ‘jolly good show’.
Three cheers for our cast, “hip! hip! … FUCK YEAH!
“hip, hip! … FUCK YEAH!”
“hip, hip! … FUCK YEAH!”
Theodore is a successful writer, who seems to be doing rather well in his career. His work colleagues and few friends admire him. But there is one small issue which tugs at Theodore’s heart – he is lonely. Until the day he meets Samantha. And his love life begins to blossom into a wonderful relationship.
They do everything together. They visit museums. They have picnics in the park. They go shopping together. Samantha even helps Theodore with his writing. But there’s just one problem..
Samantha is a computer.
Joaquin Phoenix – Theodore
Scarlett Johansson – Samantha (voice)
Amy Adams – Amy
Matt Letscher – Charles
Chris Pratt – Paul
Rooney Mara – Catherine
Spike Jonze – Alien Child (voice)
Portia Doubleday - Isabella (surrogate date)
That was honestly one of the strangest movies I have ever sat through. By the time it ended, I actually had a headache – mainly due to my forehead being scrunched into a frown for a good 70% of it. And by the time I exited the cinema itself, I felt a bit fucked up.
Her. A movie about a man who develops an emotional and sexual relationship – with his computer. If I didn’t have to review both the negative and positive sides of movies, I’d be inclined to leave this review at “what a stupid bloody idea”. But of course, it is my job to bring you the high’s and low’s.
So let’s do this..
Joaqun Phoenix. The “oh, its you again” of Hollywood returns to play emotional Theodore. And he does it well. At first I thought, “oh Christ, you are kidding aren’t you?” when I saw him and discovered what the story was. Not only does he sport a smart moustache (which conveniently hides his hair-lip) but he genuinely looks the part – slightly geeky and quite creepy, his overall appearance / personality reminded me of some sinister pervert. But as he led us through the story, I began to take to him – there was more under that Ned Flanders-style moustache than meets the eye.
The entire movie is Theodore’s journey of “meeting” and falling in love with uploaded Samantha, and how the relationship develops. And to be honest, when director Spike Jonze picked Joaquin Phoenix to play the role, he struck gold. Not only does Joaquin look the part, but he brought an incredible sadness to the screen. I could feel his longing, aching, upset – each and every emotion displayed during the movie resonated through the screen, acted faultlessly by Mr. Phoenix.
He reminded me of one of those people you meet in life; when you look at them you can’t help but feel a bit sorry for them. Whether they naturally have a sad appearance or the things they do seem to work out for them, they carry an air of pity. Joaquin seemed to nail this personality – I just can’t fault his performance at all.
Samantha is basically a computer programme which Theodore uploads. Known officially as an OS, it is an operating system with artificial intelligence which is designed to evolve over time. Theodore answers a few simple questions about his life, then chooses whether he wants a male or female voice.. and bingo – Samantha is ‘born’.
Voiced by Scarlett Johansson, she can only be heard throughout the movie as she is data in a computer system with no actual physical form. To be honest, there isn’t a hell of a lot for me to comment on here – what can I say about Scarlett Johansson’s voice, other than it is as husky as ever?..
For what the actress has to do, she does it well. Although never seen, it is easy to get a feel of her and who she evolves in to. If anything Samantha offers a nice, unusual dynamic as the invisible partner. I mean, if this movie was about a geeky man and his girlfriend we see in the flesh, it would probably be a bit boring. The fact she is never seen puts a fresh and imaginative spin on the couple’s relationship; ‘imaginative’ being the operative word – having Scarlett’s voice wash over the audience means the viewer can close their eyes and create a woman of their own.
Her is creative in the sense that it brings to screen a type of ‘Build-Your-Own-Woman’ scenario.
Her is set in 2025.
Where the general public all wear earpieces for daily needs. Where the city skyline is filled with tall, twinkling alien-like buildings. The shiny pavements are clean and spotless. Computers have become people. Everything is more swish and slick than it was in the past.
..yet people still travel by Tube.
Ok, call me a picky bastard – but for fuck sake; why do futuristic movies always seem to evolve the world – but leave the small things behind? For example, in Theodore’s life, computers have developed personalities – yet people still wear glasses. You’d have thought a world in which men are socialising witht their laptops, they would have invented a futuristic alternative to wearing glasses; magnetic lenses? Eyeball implants with the functionality of specs?..
Yes. I am that picky.
But its always an element I notice in movies which are set in a glossy, tech-advanced future – why people can do amazing things, yet things like glasses, or travelling on the underground remain as routine as they did hundreds of years before.
Amy Adams makes an appearance, as Theodore’s best friend Amy.
Quite a difference to American Hustle‘s Edith – in fact, she is the complete opposite. Amy has gone from pearls to curls, with her tired-looking, hippy character. But she’s rather adorable. She is something of a lifeline for Theodore; always being there for him when he needs a friend, etc. And she even strikes up a relationship of her own with an OS…
The rest of the cast glue this movie together nicely, remaining strong yet subtle; even Chris Pratt manages to tone it down a bit from his usual wide-eyed comical antics. This makes way for Joaquin to take the lead and propel the movie forward at the right pace.
Her isn’t all emotinal, soppy shit – it is actually quite funny in parts. And I think this is mainly due to the surreal atmosphere it creates.
For example, Theodore and Samamtha’s lovemaking scene had the audience in stitches – her heavy breathing leads up to an explosion of “OH GOD! I CAN FEEL YOU IN ME!”… Nose and eyebrows scrunched in a total “what the – you’ve got to be shittin’ me?!” reaction, I found myself laughing out loud along with the rest of the cinema audience.
The script isn’t entirely serious – it throws some wonderfuly funny lines and situations at the audience which were well recieved by everyone in the auditorium; the surreal situation of man-loves-computer gives the comedy the spark it needs – a fine example of this is the morning after the couple have made love. Theodore walks slowly toward his computer. Hesitantly, he switches it on to the sound of a husky, “good morning!” – and like a man in a classic one-night stand situation, he announces, “hey. Listen, about last night.. I’m just not sure if I’m ready to commit to anything serious..”
The audience erupted in joyous laughter.
So, if you’re thinking Her is a serious, twisted, soppy love story – think again. The comedy flows as strong as the emotion.
At one point, there is a confrontation (of the vocal kind) between Samantha and Theodore. He is concerned that she may be having an affair, so asks her if there are any ‘other men’ involved. To which she replies..
A crucial, decision-making stage of their relationship begins as Theodore now has a choice to make: continue with Samantha or leave her.
I couldn’t help wondering during this ‘make or break’ moment why the fuck he hadn’t asked Samantha this on day 1. She’s a human computer programme for Christ sake! She’s going to be as shared by the public as bloody Microsoft Word!
Yes, that’s right. Samantha becomes human. In the form of wide-eyed, slightly mad Isabella.
Samantha suggests Isabella becomes their sex surrogate, whereby Samantha speaks, Isabella remains silent, but simulates a human form of her. Complete with ear piece and a ‘beauty-spot’ camera, Isabella moves and reacts to Samantha’s voice in silence, giving the entire experience a completely new perspective. However, things don’t go too well when Theodore becomes slightly freaked out at the experience..
This part reminded me a little of Doctor Who episode ‘The Doctor’s Wife‘ – where the TARDIS becomes human and takes form of a woman’s body. I find it fascinating; machine becoming human, human becoming machine – probably why The Stepford Wives is one of my favourite movies. Because when veins meet cables, anything is possible.
Having Samantha become human was an epic turning point in the movie, and actually put a nice twist on the tale. This definitely kept it all moving with a nice fluidity. Whether you’re bored by the story or intrigued, this scene is guaranteed to make you lift your head and raise your eyebrows…
One thing I found slightly confusing was the fact Samantha did not have the ability to ‘feel’ – yet whenever Theodore’s emotions wavered, she could sense this. The whole concept of machine-human borders on the “uh-oh” of moviemaking – the director has to tread carefully, produce a movie which doesn’t contradict itself. And this must be hard.
Samantha cannot yet ‘feel’ as a human can, but she can somehow feel Theodore is upset, happy, etc.
To be honest, I kept wondering why she didn’t just absorb the entire Internet if she wanted so badly to feel, to know, to learn about experience.
The graphics in this movie were superb.
And one element stands out for me in partcular: Theodore’s computer. Whenever he sat down to play a game on his computer, the effects which bounced up onto the screen were blinding. This is no Xbox 360, this is an entirely different race of consoles – produced in a futuristic timezone.
As Theodore lifts his hand, he is suddenly surrounded by colourful graphics – like being enveloped by a giant telvevision. As he plays his game, every action performed by the character is done so from the actions of his fingertips. This futuristic concept was superb, and strangely beautiful – adding to the dynamics of the movie.
Oh, and watch out for the Class Mom scene; where Amy sits developing a computer game, where the player has to puppeteer a mother around her home, taking care of her children. The beautiful graphics combined with Amy’s comedy commentary had the audience roaring with laughter.
Street signs, elevators, even the spaceship-style skyscrapers gave Her a bold but beautiful clarity. These special effects and graphics are to be applauded.
Overall, Her is a thought-provoking, emotional comedy. It is deliciously gooey and romantic, whilst being mysterious at the same time. Throwing a “what if?” at the audience the entire time, it manages to blend its emotion with comedy nicely, thus offering a movie on a half and half scale: a love story – but an idea for a concept also. It is sad. Funny. Thoughtful. Slightly controversial.
And I can categorically admit that if they eventually do end up creating a computer programme that you can interact with, I wouldn’t mind giving it a go.
..until then, I’ll have to make do with shoving my penis in someone’s hard-drive or something.
…yes, I’m joking you filthy bitches.
It is 1985. Dallas, Texas.
Ron Woodroof is at work, when a routine task causes him to have an electrical accident. As he recieves the electric shock, he is thrown into a blackout. He wakes up in hospital, where two doctors stand over him, with some important news. Ron’s blood has been tested.
And he is HIV positive.
Matthew McConaughey – Ron Woodroof
Jared Leto – Rayon
Jennifer Garner – Eve
Denis O’Hare – Dr.Sevard
Steve Zahn – Tucker
Michael O’Neill – Richard Barkley
Dallas Roberts – David Wayne
Donna Duplantier - Nurse Frazin
That was raw. Very raw.
Emotional and funny at the same time, Dallas Buyers Club exposed the issue of HIV & Aids in an educating and entertaining way. But this was no documentary, it was an honest way of shining the light on a subject many people find difficult to talk about.
Throughout the movie runs an undercurrent of comedy. Insensitive you may think, but the comedy stems from the one thing Matthew displays superbly; Ron’s carefree attitude towards life, and his natural sense of humour. Especially when he discovers he has HIV – his aggressive, manly barriers begin to break down and a more sensitive, embracing person rises from within..
..whilst making a bit of money on the side, of course. Another funny concept, which saw Ron turn his pain into pennies as his idea of helping other ill people became more lucrative than he’d hoped.
Gotta be honest: I’m not a huge fan of Matthew McConaughey. I find him extremely bland, and a bit dull. Never quite wins me over with anything he is in, due to his slumping around in a loose shirt and being a proper wanker. But this review is based on his performance of Ron Woodroof and acting talent overall in Dallas Buyers Club.
Matthew was fantastic in this movie.
Completely convincing as the lead role, he singlehandedly carried the entire thing. Yes, his character may have been similiar to those he has previously played (all cowboy swagger and redneck traits) but I honestly cannot fault his performance. He kept me focused on the screen the entire time, to the point where I became intrugued. Intrigued by this man and his sad story.
And by God, he was thin. Almost skeletal. Maybe he purposely lost a shedload of weight for the movie, but I almost gasped at the sight of Matthew on screen. In one scene, he lies atop a hospital bed in a gown – and the sight of him is shocking. Stick thin, not an ounce of meat on him anywhere, and you can see his ribs sticking out. To be honest this, along with his pale / yellowing features added to the sadness of his situation and made the character even more real.
Whether it was crying or cheering, Matthew nailed each and every emotion splendidly, whilst bringing Ron to life using talentt that is to be applauded.
Well done Matty.
An incredible element of Ron’s journey is his ability to eventually accept homosexuals. Just after he discovers he has HIV leading to Aids, Ron bumps into a patient in the same hospital room as himself; a patient who happens to be a transgender woman named Rayon. And being a stereotypical redneck (homophobic, racist, etc.), he is rather hostile toward Rayon – at first, asking her to sit at the other end of the bed if she wants to talk.
But as the movie continues, a lovely friendship builds between the two. Mainly because they go into business together to form the DBC. One world has collided with another from a completely other end of the spectrum, but it proves to be a very solid friendship. It is lovely to watch a homophobic man slowly morph into an accepting one – these two are brought together by unfortunate circumstance, and given a little time the chemistry between them is changed completely. It is classic case, “ohh…alright then, might aswell” on the homophobe’s part.
Jared Leto is brilliant as Rayon, lighting up the screen with his humour and brings with it a deep emotional back story which slowly builds up to an upsetting end. Each character has their own story, but the movie focuses on Ron and Rayon’s.
Dallas Buyers Club isn’t all doom & gloom. In fact, it is far from it. What we’re given here is a hard-hitting honest look at a serious health issue, but done so with humour in mind – most of the movie contains a light-hearted approach at the subject, giving way for plenty of witty one-liner’s and strange facial expressions.
Some may think it insensitive to be so funny, but quite literally, it is the funny stuff which eases the situation (like in those real life scenarios where people use humour to deal with it). As the movie continued, the laugh-out-loud moments from the audience kept coming, balanced with an undercurrent of sadness – and this made it even more emotional to watch.
The whole ‘laughing in the face of the inevitable’ atmosphere took hold.
Jennifer Garner as Dr. Eve Saks was a refreshing addition to the cast. I’ve not seen her play a role such as a nurse before, and she did great. If anything, her character gave the situation a dash of emotional value. Her compassion as doctor and as friend was lovely as professional became personal, and actually made me feel slightly more sad the more she got involved in Ron’s life.
The chemistry between Jennifer and Matthew was nice. Sad, but nice.
One scene stands out for me; the scene where Ron says a prayer. The scene opens as Ron appears in front of a cluster of tea-light style candles (the sort you normally get in a church). He bows his head and with hands grasping each other in prayer mode, begins talking to God. He is literally praying for his life with desperation in his voice. The camera suddenly pans out..
..and shows Ron in a strip club.
He is actually hunched over the table candles, praying to God in a drunken state. What a brilliant transition – seriously, I thought he was in church! But then the actual location is revealed and I was surprised. A nice little scene-shock here, done creatively. I liked this.
Dallas Buyers Club is laced with a very important aspect of life – acceptance.
For starters, Ron has to accept he is HIV positive. That’s the first hurdle gotten over (sort of) – but then comes the obstacle of his homophobia. His first reaction to the news in the hospital refers to “them faggots” – but later down the line, we watch as Ron comes to accept the homosexuals around him. He still doesn’t hold them in high regard, but he learns to accept them for who they are, the lives they choose to live.
Ron being diagnosed has led him on a different path in life. In a sense, he says “fuck it” to everything and gets on with his life. Whether its his reference to Rayon as “Miss Man” (which made the audience laugh out lout), or his reaction to a homosexual customer of the medicine he sells being “fuck off” when the young gentleman winks at him, Ron’s proactive and positive approach to his illness never falters.
Its inspiring to watch.
Overall, Dallas Buyers Club is powerful.
It is a compassionate tale of one man’s search for a cure before his time is up – and manages to blend an upsetting story with some hilarious comedy in the process, giving its entire screen time a wonderfully open, realistic feel.
A gay man becomes a straight man’s saviour – and vice versa.
A homophobe overcomes the phobia, and begins to accept these people for who they are.
A sensitive health issue is exposed and laid bare.
As well as its emotional and heart-wrenching plot, Dallas Buyers Club broaches the subject of HIV & Aids in a style that no documentary or leaflet ever could. We follow the journey of a discovery, a distraught man, and then of course – how he’s going to deal with it. But what is the best way to deal with such terrifying news?..
..be you, of course. Continue being you. Laugh, and make others laugh. Return the joy others put into your life. Because its this humour which gets us through hard times. Not sitting around wallowing in misery – there is no point dwelling. Deal with it. Get up, and go embrace life. However much time of it you have left.
Jason, Daniel and Mikey are best friends who all have girlfriends. Things seem to be going fine with the couples, until each of them arrive at that awkward stage. That classic stage, where one question could mean the happy continuation or total downfall of the relationship: “..so where is this going?”
And we’re about to find out…
Zac Efron – Jason
Miles Teller – Daniel
Michael B. Jordan – Mikey
Imogen Poots – Ellie
Mackenzie Davis – Chelsea
Jessica Lucas – Vera
Addison Timlin – Alana
This movie was absolutely FUCKING AWFUL. It really was. Its basically a tacky flick which squeezes as much immaturity out of its actors as humanly possible, whilst focusing on the classic chauvinistic traits many guys adopt in their early twenties. It does manage to highlight the element of relationships however, with each man having his own separate storyline – and we get to see how each one unfolds, with its own issues and obstacles to overcome such as family, career, etc.
But apart from the observational slant we get on relationships, the foundation of the movie – such as humour, staging, etc. – were just awful. Immature. Where having a shit is classed as “funny”. Where masturbating is classed as “cool”. Where being the best at these things is just as important as going to work. Regurgitated crap we’ve all seen and heard in movies before, such as Knocked Up, American Pie, This Is 40 and 21 And Over. Where any one-liner or attempt at being funny was cringeworthy and embarrassing.
That Awkward Moment ‘hit the nail on the head’ – as they say – in complete reverse. It gave us a movie which displayed everything most women find vulgar in a man, topped with humour which just wasn’t funny. In fact, I feel slightly irritated just thinking about it.
But what were the upsides?
What went right?
Did it manage to entertain?..
Read on to find out.
(if you want. I mean, you don’t have to)
Zac Efron gets completely nude – and takes part in some DELICIOUS sex scenes.
I have to point this out straight away for those fellow Homo’s and straight girls everywhere who don’t mind an eyeful of Zac.
Imagine a moment where you’ve felt incredible – you know, someone performing oral sex on you which tips you over the edge and makes your legs fly. Or when you swallow a bit of food which somehow forces your eyes closed and a smile to rise, as you pull the spoon from your lips..
This is how I felt the second Mr. Efron popped up – naked. Broad shouldered. Furry chest. Butt so peachy you could bite it. Shagging a girl from behind..
I’m not going to lie – his body is fucking amazing, and is literally one of the best elements of this movie. High School Musical just turned into College Cock, I tell you. And its a beautiful sight. You don’t get to see his Jolly Roger (unfortunately) but you get more than your money’s worth of toned, ripped body to go gooey over. Its only 45-60 seconds in total of the whole movie that you get of Zac Efron naked, so keep your eyes (and everything else) peeled ladies.
At one point, I sat there mumbling “oh FUCK yeah, ohhh..” – then suddenly snapped out of my sexual stupor to find my teeth were biting down hard on my bottom lip, and I had sunk a little in my seat. I quickly sat up, and sorted myself out – not giving the slightest shit about the three girls sat behind me (even though they themselves had their legs flopped over the back of my row of seats, feet swinging wildly) – it appears I wasn’t the only one who felt a brief moment of relaxing pleasure.
Honestly though, That Awkward Moment has definitely exposed Zac Efron for the beautiful chunky fucker he really is, and taken his sex appeal to new heights. If you fancied him before, then you’ve won the fucking lottery with this movie. I think he would get MILLIONS for doing gay porn, I swear to God. With a body like that, so smooth and toned – Zac is the stuff people dream of capturing on film. He actually reminds me of a gay porn star I’ve seen before; same brunette boyish features and perfect muscles.
I would strongly suggest you sign up Zac – you’ll become more richer than you already are!
Miles Teller. The “who are you?” of Hollywood. And to be honest, has not earned his rightful place to even be there. This twenty-something American actor is a bit too bland for me; shabby, pale face and desperate attempt at being funny but not quite cutting it.. he just isn’t all that.
His ‘lost sheep’ appearance only adds to the whole ‘is he funny? I can’t tell’ opinion I have of him. I first saw him in 21 And Over – another immature film where he got completely naked (apart from a sock on his donger) – and he returns again in That Awkward Moment – and gets naked again. You have to hand it to the guy, for what he lacks in being funny, he makes up for in nudity.
At the moment, he seems to pop in and out of movies – this one being his main feature to stick around for. But otherwise, he’s basically a ‘fill-in’ who manages to hold up a movie, but doesn’t quite nail being comedic. Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if in a few years Family Guy mocks him in one of their episodes. I can see Seth MacFarlane doing this, like many other actors, MTV presenters, etc.
Miles reminds me a bit of Jennifer Lawrence. Random comparison I know, but when I look at him he seems to have the same sort of facial features as the famous Hunger Games actress.
See if you can spot what I mean.
Imogen Poots – flowering star of Hollywood. And saviour of That Awkward Moment. She was like a bullet of sheer relief whenever on screen, due to her diverse looks and natural acting talent. If anything, I’m sorry she had to suffer the burden of being in such an awful movie.
After meeting her in a bar, Ellie (Poots) takes Jason (Efron) home and sleeps with him. However, on waking up in the morning and looking around her flat, Jason comes across circumstantial evidence that she may be a prostitute. Scared witless, he does a runner – only to bump into her the very next day at work when it is discovered that she is a client doing business with Jason’s company. And an embarrassing confrontation takes place..
Sort of. Again, this movie is so tacky that even the confrontation between Jason and Ellie is totally uneventful. It is basically Jason passing a notepad to Daniel with the word ‘HOOKER’ and an arrow pointing toward Ellie on it – Daniel’s reaction is nothing short of schoolboy-standard stuttering for a few seconds, before the scene is lost.
I can only assume Imogen was a relief because she was miscast in this movie. She is way too talented for crap like this, therefore her dynamics were superb, lighting up the screen with emotion and dry wit.
That Awkward Moment is pure candy for those between the ages of 15 and 19 I reckon; this is the feeling I got when watching it. The movie is brimming with attitude and contains such slack, immature scenarios that I reckon kids will love it. Its one of those American Pie style films – only much less funny.
I had just turned 16 when American Pie was first released back in 1999, and remember most of my friends loved it because of its yucky-funny approach at delving into relationships – it was rather tacky and the director didn’t make it subtle by having most of the characters on screen all the time, throwing constant vulgar jokes at its audience. No holes barred, no intriguing plot. Quite simply: spattering the audience in shit.
So teenagers might just love That Awkward Moment.
Whilst sat in the audience yesterday, most of the people behind me were late teens / early twenties and they were literally HOWLING at things that just weren’t laughable. One thing that stood out is when Daniel is talking to a girlfriend about the useless crap in his life, and he says to her how he remembers: “when I was a little boy, opening all the windows wide at night and laying on top of the covers – so I could see how homeless people lived”.
That was it – a teenage boy behind me howled with laughter and clapped his hands loudly in classic, “yeah man! That is sick” mode.
I was dumbfounded. At the screen, and the boy behind me.
So, if you’re a fully grown mature adult with a realistic grip on the world then steer clear of this – but send the kids (teenagers) out to watch it by all means. They’ll lap it up.
..one of the male characters (who happens to be a nurse) fucks his girlfriend on a hospital bed.
In the hospital.
As in – his place of employment, which could result to him being fired or even struck off the medical register.
Fucking idiot. This scene literally sealed the deal for me and I started to detest everything about the movie.
One thing I noticed about this movie is how easy I found it to lose track.
That Awkward Moment is basically three men – clutching takeout coffee – strutting down the street, discussing their sex lives and relationships. Each scene seemed to blend so effortlessly into the next, that a few times I didn’t realise it had bloody changed! I found it to be a mish-mash of scenes in which the men conversed disgustingly, acted like fucking idiots, and came across as sexist.
In the end, I literally didn’t care what happened. I sat back, bored senseless, waiting for the tedious thing to end.
In one scene, Daniel and Jason visit a sex shop.
The male assistant behind the counter begins a conversation with the pair, at first thinking they are gay partners (cue the “WHOA! WHOA! Whoa man, we’re not gay” reaction, as if being gay is like being a rapist – there is then a light-speed discussion between the two about “would I be your type if you were gay?”, before the assistant throws a wisecrack about a dildo..
..and then the scene finishes.
I think I’ve honestly had more of a riot at a funeral. I shifted arse cheek yet again as the right one had gone numb, and sighed.
Another scene sees Daniel arrive at his girlfriend’s house for Thanksgiving dinner. And his very first comment is about having sex with her grandma.
Yes. His arrival is literally drowned in an excruciating conversation about how he could fuck his girlfriend’s grandmother, and make another girlfriend within two generations.
I felt sickened. What the FUCK did director Tom Gormican think he was doing here?! Did he think this sort of stuff was hilarious? Serious? Relevant?..
One of the very final scenes sees Jason and Daniel sat in a coffee shop talking about Daniel’s girlfriend. He confides in Jason how much he adores her, and wants to tell her this. Jason urges him to do so. Within seconds, the pair exit the coffee shop, run down the street, across the road – BANG.
Daniel is smacked by a passing car. Thrown up into the air, his body crunches violently then plummets to the pavement and smashes into the concrete.
This is bad..
..the next scene sees Jason sat by his friend’s hospital bed – with Daniel sat upright, not a scratch on him, making erection references under his bed sheet with his hand.
I’d had enough.
I reached for my bag, and then as I was clutching it, urged for the movie to finish immediately. I couldn’t take any more.
Overall, That Awkward Moment is bloody awful. Whoever came up with its concept needs firing. It is a disgraceful piece of cinema, fuelled by vulgar references and irrelevant sexual discussion. But all this gets worse because it is surrounded by irritating characters who thrive off their own immaturity. I’m afraid the only good element of the movie is its observation of human relationships and the effects they have on people.
If you are proud of your own farts – you’ll love it. If your biggest achievement in life is drinking beer and playing your computer – you’ll love it. If you enjoy talking about your masturbatory habits to your best mates, and sometimes even masturbate in front of them (or with them) yet suddenly turn frigid when they try to touch you – you’ll love it.
Otherwise, I would urge anyone and everyone to avoid this movie at all costs. DO NOT pay to see it. Because you’ll regret every penny.
I just checked the Cineworld website – and this movie has had its showings cut dramatically to one per day, at only a few Cineworld cinemas in London.
What a surprise, oh no! (in the most sarcastic tone ever made)
Marcus Luttrell and his team of Navy SEALS embark on a mission to capture or kill Taliban leader Ahmad Shah.
But their mission is about to turn nasty.
Mark Wahlberg – Marcus Luttrell
Taylor Kitsch – Michael Murphy
Emile Hirsch – Danny Dietz
Ben Foster – Matt Axelson
Eric Bana - Eric Kristensen
I have to say, Lone Survivor wasn’t overly bad. As much as I find movies of this genre tedious (due to their long, drawn-out scenes and the only action happening being gun shots) I was entertained enough. It wasn’t an amazing war story, but it wasn’t hideous – it just seemed to flow. It takes off pretty quickly with the characters being introduced all at once, before they embark on their Navy mission. And once they’re out in the mountains, we’re dished nice portions of ‘shoot-em-up’ action as the boys are pursued by some nasty people..
The scene where the SEALS are being hunted by their enemies was the best scene in the movie I thought. From the second a single member of the Taliban appears from behind a tree, all Hell breaks loose. Because what begins and ends in a “we got him” scenario, suddenly erupts into a terrifying game of Cat & Mouse..
A gun fight and chase takes place. And it is violent.
Our boys are literally pushed over the edge as they jump, fall and tumble their way down the mountain they were stationed on. This bit was shocking; I gasped in horror as I watched their bodies crunch, crack and snap as they hit the sharp rocks on the way down..
This scene kept me hooked. I had my eyes fixed to the screen throughout and kept uttering, “come on, come on..” as I lapped up the brilliantly tense atmosphere. I won’t lie – although this part of the movie is intriguing, it goes on for quite a while. Bit of a 50/50 response from me on this; great action – bit too long. But I thought this was Lone Survivor‘s best, most captivating scene.
One thing that REALLY gets on my tits in thrillers / action movies, is when a main character picks up the nearest telephone – be it mobile or fixed landline – and utters those fateful words: “…s’dead”.
Because it just doesn’t (usually) happen, does it – wherever a person is in the world, there is normally a fully functioning telephone. I mean Christ, I was ice-trekking in Iceland for my 27th birthday – and still managed to send a text message from the top of a glacier.
..it happens in Lone Survivor.
The crew’s comms and satellite devices cut connection, leaving them unable to speak to the people at their control base. I exhaled a sigh of, “for fuck sake – a house telephone is one thing, but these guys have communication devices produced by the bloody US Navy” at this. I’m no expert, but I assume the US Navy would have equipment built to withstand all sorts of areas / weather, etc.
Picky little fucker aren’t I
The scenery in this movie was bloody beautiful. At first, we’re at the boys camp on the ground, but as soon as they’re up in the mountains, we’re taken to a whole new level.
Vast, giant rocky mountains lined with pine trees – doesn’t sound a lot, but its an eyeful once you see it. The mountains are so high off the ground its dizzying, and they jut out into the atmosphere dangerously. There are some lovely camera angles too, as it pans out across the mountains and exposes some gorgeous shots.
Whether special effects were used or not, the graphics are crystal clear and breathtaking – giving the overall story a ‘beautiful but deadly’ atmosphere.
Are members of the US Navy trained to lose the feeling in their bodies? Because during the gun fight scene, they all get a ‘popping’ – but there isn’t much reaction to it.
Crouched behind a gigantic rock, one of the boys is shot in the shoulder. But he makes no reaction to the injury and keeps on shooting! Perhaps its adrenaline taking over; cancelling out any feeling and rendering him numb.. I’m certainly not an expert on the functionality of the US Navy Seals, but Christ – being shot, blood flying everywhere, and not even letting out a scream – what’s that about?! Are these people invincible or something?
See if you can spot what I mean.
This movie kept me intrigued. Wondering what was going to happen next. This was one of its better elements; I sat there engrossed in great pieces of action happening on screen whilst wondering what on earth was going to happen next. The setting and the scene made this a good movie – a group of men being hunted through the trees. Lots of hiding, ducking, sitting waiting in silence…
Brilliant, and kept me anticipating the next move. I enjoyed this element.
Without giving too much of the plot away, there is a part of the movie where Marcus (Wahlberg) ends up in a foreign household in the desert. Injured, he sits down and attempts to remove the shards of metal his leg is impaled with.
..and its a fucking squeamer of a scene.
I normally don’t mind a bit of blood, but I was writhing in my seat as he pulled the metal slowly from the squelchy oblivion. With each “splutch” my mouth dropped open a little further – I was proper wriggling. Ewwww!
So yes, if you’re a squeamer – you have been warned.
The only – and I mean ONLY – part of Lone Survivor that made the audience laugh out loud is where Marcus is in a house, trying to operate on his leg. He asks a little foreign boy for a knife. The little boy can’t work out what this strange, bloodied man is asking for and stands staring at Marcus, as he chants “knife, knife!” whilst he makes a cutting action with his hands.
The little boy leaves the room.
..and returns with a duck.
The reaction from Marcus stirred LOL’s from around the audience, and brought a much needed brief moment of comic relief.
As I sat watching a certain chracter bleeding to death, sputtering to a fellow Seal to tell his wife how much he loves her, my first reaction was “WHY?”
Why do they do it?
How can I ask this without sounding naive and disrespectful?..
Why would a grown man look into the adoring eyes of his wife – as she smiles at him – and say goodbye? Imagine his beautiful little child looking up at him, big sad eyes welling up, as he kisses him / her goodbye. WHY would a man purposely leave his family behind, knowing that he might be returning in a coffin?!
Again, call me naive or disrespectful – but for Christ sake. You have a beautiful woman who loves you, and a child who dotes on you – yet you’re jetting off to take part in activities which may ultimately kill you, and destroy their lives in the process. I understand the whole “doing it for my country”, but why do these men do it to their families?
It genuinely frustrates me, that these men feel empowered by killing others in a different country and that they went through marriage, having children, etc. only to turn round and say, “I’m off, I might die, thanks for the memories”.
On one hand you’ve gained the respect of your fellow colleagues and some of your country, on the other – you created a life with loved ones which you’re basically throwing away..
Please note: The above statement is my own opinion on the Navy not influenced by anyone else. I am not experienced in the Navy at all, so hold limited facts about it. This statement is my personal overview on the subject. Etc.
When I first saw the poster / trailer for this movie, I assumed Mark’s character would be fighting for his life – all by himself – lost in the terrifying wilderness kind of thing. But to be honest, he is surrounded by fellow soldiers up until the final 5-10 minutes. I prepared myself for a “shit, he’s completely stranded by himself” sort of flick – no such luck. The movie lacked this element.
Overall, Lone Survivor is raw. Brutal. Gritty. It is basically one of those ‘Help The Heroes’ style flicks dedicated to those who fight or have fought in the Navy, etc. (complete with a photo slideshow in the credits at the end). In its short screen time, it manages to entertain as well as provide an insight into a completely different world of work.
It reminded me of a movie you see on an airplane which acts as a time-filler that you end up enjoying. This movie is boiling with blood, rage, death, violence. But it takes these elements and blends them together to produce a watchable piece of film in on tight timescale.
I don’t think I’d watch it again, it wasn’t the most amazing thing I’ve seen. Watch it, let it go. Once is enough.